I haven't been blogging much, although I've wanted to, because I feel guilty any time I take a break from studying during my coherent/productive hours. We've been going at the books for seven weeks straight now and think burn out is starting to set in. :-P
I'm increasingly frustrated by my apparent inability to retain things, even simple things, in my head. And now that I'm in the middle of Real Property (by far my least favorite class in law school), I'm really getting sick of all this book-learnin' junk.
*sigh* Three and a half weeks until "zero hour." I keep telling myself it'll be worth it in November when the results come out. . . I hope.
The good news is, stress and fear always face me God-ward--more so than when everything is easy. I've been talking to Him a lot lately, asking for His blessing, praying for strength and wisdom and most of all, perserverance. Also for guidance in how best to serve and encourage my weary husband when I am so tired and drained myself. I'm glad Dan and I are going through this together, but I'm not sure it really makes the whole thing any easier. On the one hand, it's great to have someone around all the time who gets exactly what I'm going through, but we're both so focused (and we study so differently) that even though we are in the same house all day, we actually see less of each other than we did before. That's not something I ever anticipated.
This process of preparing for the Bar has actually presented a lot of challenges that I didn't anticipate. I knew it would be a lot of work and a lot of discipline, but I didn't count on the physical exhaustion, the insomnia, or the feeling of being on a deserted island by myself with my outlines and Professor Fleming's audio tapes. :)
No doubt when we come out on the other side of our "Jordan" we'll look back and wonder why we were afraid. But for now, I'm still hanging on tight to the One leading me and trying not to look at the wall of water threatening to crash down on my head. And really, that's how I want it to be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Hey babe...
Prayers are with you. I can't wait to see you Post-Bar-Exam!!!
love, your me
Angel, I'm trying to find the words to tell you how I'm amazed by you (and Dan) and this post was even more encouraging to me. I just wanted to tell you, Angel, that I think what you and Dan are doing is really brave. To quit your jobs to do nothing but study, is a HUGE act of trust in God (that's the first thing that impressed me; your leap of faith). Also, for you two to be so devoted to a goal and dream, making the sacrifices needed, even if they weren't what you thought they'd be was the second thing that left me nearly speachless. I like to concider myself driven, but you are an example of full-out detication. I'm glad that you are turning to God in your time of challenge, that can often BE the hard part, and though I'm learning "tit" isn't always "for tat", and things rarely end up playing out exactly as we had thought, that's what makes Him God I have to tell myself. You seem to already have a good understanding of that, so I have little doubt that He has big plans for you both. hang in there. God bless, -E
E-
Thanks for your kind words, but bravery comes in many forms. :) For instance, I think what you do day in and day out is heroic; I don't think I'd have your same capabilities if I were in your shoes. Keep in touch; I love getting your comments! :)
Until I read your blog I didn't realize how quickly the bar exam is coming up. My prayers for you both as you complete the home stretch and the exam. I know how hard it can be to stay focused over such an extended time period. I remember many nights falling asleep listening to Fleming tapes with Nathan. Ahh, the joys of bar prep material. Hehe. Keep on keeping on. It will be over before you know it. You can do it! :-)
God Bless~ Alison
BIG BLUSHING GRIN :), "Thanks"
Wow - truly inspiring. More so from reading Eeyore's backstory. A walk of faith in the shadow of the Cross. Right ON!
Praying for a break in the clouds for you both soon...
Post a Comment