Do you truly live?

1:14 am, the magic hour. Why, I have no idea. The reason - that's what time it is right now when I post this entry. The purpose, well, that is a subjective reason to be sure. One does not change the world from a Blog, though they may try. One probably does not even make a ripple in the pond of "life" from a Blog no matter how large a stone they throw. But then there will be that whisper of wind that turns into a hurricane that sweeps the shore of someone's reality and level's the trees of another's forest and gives them a clear view... from a Blog, yea, maybe (probably not this one).

If one could truly impart their wisdom (such as it may be) to a forum such as this in a way that would change the world, what might it be? Tonight I think for me it is simply that life is huge and I am small. Whether you be entering college, having a baby, reaching the summit of your loftiest ideal or simply honorably grinding through life's every-day challenges - life is huge.

Do I say that to mean it is unforgiving and beyond my ability to endure - no. Do I say that to mean that it is full of amazing wonder at the richest rewards in the smallest of places - yes.

Doesn't mean it isn't hard - because it is. But I find the happiest moments and the greatest fulfillment in the smallest and oddest of places. Whether it be something as "grand" as watching the sunset over the Pacific off of some south shore of a Hawaiian Island (and I highly recommend this if you haven't seen it) or just getting excited about buying and trying fresh oysters at a Farmer's Market - really what difference is there? Some may say there is, and even find such a divide between the two that they would not even dare to feel happy unless certain expectations were filled. But if that needs to happen, is it truly happiness? I pray to God I never know.

Just a few moments ago I was concluding a somewhat stressful day with jazz, lanternlight, small raindrops, cheap (but decent) wine and the sounds of a spring night waxing into summer and a half spoken, half pondered conversation with God. When you pause to take a snapshot of such moments in your journey towards death, you remember what it means to truly live.

About six years ago around this time I was in Albania during the Kosovar war helping to conduct something of an underground refugee relief program. There I saw the faces of children who had watched their parents die, there I was stopped on the road in the dead of night by armed men, there I heard the sobbing stories of a grandmother recounting how terrorists boiled her grandchildren to make soap... what hope does one have? Where does "happy" exist? I can tell you from personal experience that a flower in a stone wall, a smile unexpected, or a sunset can bring you all the hope you need. Our God is a big God and this life is a BIG life.

Friends and fellow travelers of this road, I urge you to remember - no matter the trials or station you bear - do not forget to live. For you do have things worth remembering each and every day.

-Dan